Instinct

Two Sundays ago, after church, I was standing on the stairs that lead to the balcony of the sanctuary/theater with my youngest son. He was just a few steps up from the floor holding some papers from children's church and his gameboy. His hands were full. Suddenly, my "spider-sense" went off and I turned to see him stumbling down the stairs. However, not being trained on my "spider-sense", I did not react in time to try to catch him. It was like a scene out of the Matrix.

As he stumbled, his feet stayed put on the step they were on, and his knees hit the step below. Then, as he's falling forward, sure to do a face plant into the tiled, lobby floor, he quickly releases everything from his grip and springs his arms forward to catch himself before he hits ground zero! Wow! It was actually pretty cool; like a superman discovering his powers, or something. He stayed there, with legs up on the stairs and hands on the ground holding himself up like a strong ninja move, or something.

I said, "whoa, buddy, are you alright?" He said that he was, and I helped him back up and gave him a high-five for his actions. His papers and gameboy were ok, too. I couldn't believe his wits. He was aware enough to let go of everything in his hands to catch himself and keep from getting hurt. I just knew he was a goner. You know, what 4 year-old kid knows to drop his gameboy and save his hide? I was impressed with his instinct.

A few days later I was driving and heard the Gloria Gaynor song, "I Will Survive". I immediately thought of the episode with my son and his instinct of self-preservation - his instinct to survive. I guess that instinct comes naturally to us. Or, at least, to most of us. Adam and Eve had to develop that instinct after they sinned. One of the first things they did was fix some clothes to hide their nakedness.

Yeah, looking out for "#1" usually comes pretty easily. What's not so easy is looking out for the other guy, or taking care of others. That's more of a pastoral instinct. A pastor is more like a shepherd. He is to care for, feed, protect, and love his sheep. Jesus is the Great Shepherd. This particular instinct came naturally for him. It's not so easy for us. We have that other instinct with which to compete.

A pastoral instinct comes from spending time with God. The more we read his words to us, the more we talk to him in prayer, the more time we spend with him, the more we become like him. While some people are given an extra grace and anointing to pastor, the pastoral instinct is one that, I believe, can be developed in anybody. But like anything else worth having, it takes time and discipline to learn. Some learn it easily; some don't. But, it is the instinct that needs to prevail.

Don't get me wrong. An instinct of self-preservation is important, too. Especially if you're stumbling down some stairs. But, when it comes to dealing with other people, we need to learn to sacrifice a little. Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13) If people looked out for their fellow man more than themselves, I believe this world would be a much better place in which to live. Don't you? Let's show the world His love. Let's develop the right instinct.

Be encouraged.

Happy 10th Birthday, Bobo!

Saturday was Bobo's 10th birthday. I tried all day to think of what I wanted to say to him on this blog and words just failed me. I love him more than words can say and am so very proud of him. You can check out what my husband said here.

Saturday was also very busy. We had a friend's birthday party to attend from 2-4 in a town about 40 minutes away, the family dinner and party around 5:30, and then the friends coming over for the slumber party around 7. I'm still recovering.

Bobo wanted a Superhero birthday party. No superhero in particular, just any and all superheros. A friend lent us the decorations and all the boys came in costumes or wore one of ours.

Bobo was the Red Power Ranger, Bear was Iron Man, Popeye was the White Power Ranger, and Princess was Super Girl. These are also their Halloween costumes.

We (aka my MIL) purchased a life size Batman and Iron Man for the party. Here she is with Batman. We opened presents once everyone got there. Then we watched Spiderman while we waited for it to get dark outside. This is a pic of the kids eating and waiting.

We had them draw numbers to determine teams. Two players on a team and three teams. Plus, RC and our friend Chris (his wife Heather was there also) were a team. There were bases and freezing and lots of running and laughing. Heather and I were the judges and team RC and Chris won.=)

Team Blue

Team Green Team Red

Then we had a ring toss. Team Red won. Then we checked shoes for dog poop and not a single person stepped in any! Woohoo! With two dogs the chances of 10 pairs of clean shoes is slim! Then we watched Spiderman 2. After that the kids got dressed for bed and this is what was happening at 11:00pm right before RC and I went to bed.

We put on a cartoon superhero show and told them to play quietly. After an hour of LOTS of laughter I made them turn the lights off and be quiet. This is what it looked like at 7:30 am. I made cinnamon rolls and they got ready for church. Yes, I got all my children PLUS three extras ready for church and to praise band practice at 8:30 am! Popeye and Princess slept at Grandma and Granddad's. Bobo said it was the best slumber party ever.

I'm very glad he thought so.

Bridget

Happy Birthday, Bobo!

My #1 son turned 10 this past Saturday. Wow. He's so old. And he's getting so big. The circumstances surrounding his birth and early years were not so great, but he is my pride and joy. Well, one of them anyway. He is awesome! Below are 10 of my favorite memories from his first 10 years (in chronological order - as best as I remember it)

1. his birthday (born in OKC on September 27, 1998 - I was a very proud dad)



2. it took him forever to sleep through the night (I mean forever - thankfully, we learned from him and had the others sleeping through the night within a few weeks)



3. he once stuck some keys in an electrical socket outside my office in KY (I could hear him hitting the wall with the keys, but didn't think about a socket until he got real quiet before he started crying really loudly)



4. he would pronounce the letter W "double doo!" (he spent a weekend or something with my parents who taught him his letters - that one was his favorite)



5. he loved the American flag (he always shouted "A flag! A flag! A flag!" until we finally acknowledged that he was seeing a flag)



6. he was George Washington in a school "play" (I think it was President's Day or something in either the first or second grade - he read a few lines)



7. he had to have glasses (there was a prophet at our church who was healing some people of eye problems - glasses, etc., he stood for a moment, then sat down and said that he liked his glasses)



8. his violin recital (he's really gifted)



9. playing baseball (he had the highest on base percentage on the team, because he kept walking, and he was a pretty decent second baseman)



10. his prophetic word (wow, what a word spoken over him - if you want to hear it, make your request known in writing and send $1 to.... - just kidding about the dollar, but it's worth hearing, just not on this blog - sorry)

There they are. My wife calls him Bobo on her blog, so we will too. Happy birthday, Bobo! I love you, buddy.

Love Note Day

Today is Love Note Day. So here are a few notes of love:

To my wife:
I love you. I can't describe it any better than that. You are my sunsushine. You make me happy; you can make me mad, but you don't do that very often. You put up with me. God has said that our marriage was a miracle; well, I'm glad it's our miracle. I'm proud of our children. You are a wonderful mother, and you'll only get better. Thank you for 10 1/2 years of marital bliss (most of the time)! I love you.

To my children:
I love you. You guys are the best. From #1 son to baby girl, you are my pride and joy. You are so much fun, and I love coming home to a family excited to see me. Thanks for being so cool! I love you.

To my family ('rents and others):
I love you. Thank you for your love and support throughout my life. Thank you for loving my little family. Thanks for letting us use your pool and cable and internet and sugar and kool aid and Oreos and everything else. You guys are my foundation. I love you.

To my friends:
I love you. Whether you're a new friend or one who's been with me through the permed hair and Speedo stages of life, you are one of my most valued treasures. Thank you for making me laugh, for laughing with me and at me. You are the best. And I'm sure you owe me money. I love you.

To my God:
I love You. You saved my life. You are my rock, my fortress, my provider, my savior, my joy and my strength. You are the Ancient of Days. You are the Alpha and Omega. You are awesome. Thank you for Jesus. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me and bringing me this far. I look forward to continuing our journey together. You are life. I love You.

Cherokee wisdom

I'm taking a break from Bridget's Blessings (thanks, babe) for a day. This was an email I received from my Mema. I have some Cherokee Indian in me from that side of my family.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, The battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, -if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Life Lesson #2

Still waiting on my new title. (hint, hint) ;-)

2. Live in the present.

I almost typed: Live in the present moment, but I stopped myself because that is not the lesson I'm learning. Sometimes we must plan for the future. Sometimes, often times, we must do things in preparation for the future because if we don't then we can't accomplish what we are supposed to in the future. Living in the present moment is not what I'm talking about here.

What I'm talking about is most easily explained with an example.

This past March God brought a group of people, myself and RC included, together. Our first joint endeavor was doing a musical 'special' for offering at church one Sunday. We had a blast! I actually posted a video of it here.

After this, we all wanted to keep hanging out. We felt like the Holy Spirit was up to something and we wanted to make sure we didn't miss it. So, we planned an evening to get together to eat, talk, and pray. That too was great.

From it, God started to grow our group by adding more people. The people He was adding however, didn't have any musical gifting. This was confusing. Now, what seemed an obvious purpose (music) for our group was not so obvious anymore. Needing help we invited our pastor and his wife to our next get together.

The first thing they said to us, under the leading of the Holy Spirit, was "don't try to define this, yet". Now, this was hard to hear. We were so excited and gung ho, and this seemed to take all the wind out of our sails. Without definition we were at a loss as to what exactly we were supposed to be doing. But, because we trust our pastors and we felt in our spirits that this was indeed a word from the Holy Spirit we obeyed.

This began a work in me personally that God has used to reveal to me my attempts to live in the future. I spoke a little about this here.

I wanted to know God's purpose for this group and I wanted to go to work. I didn't want to wait. But, praise God, I didn't want to screw up even more. So, instead of pushing forward without a clear directive from the Holy Spirit, I waited.

And I'm still waiting.

And God has taken this group, now a family, in a completely different direction than I (we) ever expected. A wonderful direction. And because I'm choosing to live in the present I'm no longer trying to figure out God's ultimate purpose for bringing these particular people together.

I've heard it said: Both FAITH and WAIT have the letters A-I-T. Without a WAIT there is no FAITH. And the Bible tells us that without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God. (sorry for all the caps, but in my heart this stuff is IMPORTANT) =)

Now, I am getting better about living in the present, and not worrying about or trying to figure out the future. But I'm going to be honest, it isn't always easy. And it seems to be even harder to live in the present when your life feels like it is in transition. Maybe you're at a job that you know isn't what God created you for, but no other doors are opening right now and you have bills to pay and mouths to feed. Or, maybe you live in a house that feels to small for your family and you are believing God for a bigger house, but you know that there is no financial way it could happen soon. Or maybe God is moving your family from one town and occupation to another town and occupation and nothing is happening at the same/right time. (I love you, M)

We so easily believe the lie that somehow life will be better once we get there, where ever there is. And we so easily miss the wonder of where we actually are. The wonder of how God in His great power and brilliance orchestrated things so perfectly to bring us exactly where we are. The wonder of how God gives us everything we need in His Holy Spirit to accomplish exactly what we're supposed to exactly where we are.

Here's the deal, folks. Our God is HUGE. ABSOLUTELY GINORMOUS. So completely beyond our comprehension that we should thank Him daily, hourly even, for making himself known to us. Because the reality of it is that we CANNOT understand the things of the Spirit without Him giving us the understanding. So, even if God did tell us our future, there is so much more to it that we can't grasp that we would still miss our future if left to find it ourselves.

Wow. Was not expecting that. Thank you, Lord.

And thank you, Lord, for bringing me to this place of love for You, joy in You, and dependence on You. You truly are the greatest adventure and our VERY GREAT REWARD.

Bridget

And without faith it is impossible to please God... Hebrews 11:6

After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward." Genesis 15:1

I couldn't come up with a better title.

I'm still trying to come up with a better title. Any help would be appreciated.

Here is Life Lesson #1

1. Say yes to your children as often as possible. Say no only when you have to.

I don't remember which author I read this from, but it stuck with me. And since reading it God has opened me eyes to two things that have changed my perspective.

The first is that most of the time that I answer no to one of my children's questions is simply because of selfishness. I don't want to stop what I'm doing to help or I don't want to have to deal with the mess that I know will come later. Or I don't want to share. The selfish reasons list could go on for quite a while.

When I realized how selfish I was being toward my children I was surprised. I had never noticed my own selfishness in that way before. I hid it under the disguise of authority. It makes me cringe when I think of it that way, but that is what I did and still sometimes do on autopilot. Without thinking I will just reply 'no' and then when I stop and think about my reasons for saying 'no' they are selfish.

I am still learning how to truly listen to my children, respond out of love, and take the time to pray it through. God is helping me.

The second thing happened a few months ago. My oldest son walked into the kitchen to ask me a question and before he asked he turned around to walk away and I heard him say, "I already know the answer." My heart was saddened by this realization.

Now, sometimes when rules are set in place and boundaries are known, then our kids should already know the answer to some questions and therefore not need to ask them. However, this was a different situation. He already knew the answer because of my habit of saying no.

He was coming to me to ask to play on a toy that is not always available for play, and because of my track record he didn't even make the effort to ask. He assumed (and probably correctly) that I would say no because that is what I usually say.

God showed me through this situation how my selfishness was causing a hindrance to the relationship I want to have with my children. I want to have an open relationship. I want my children to come to me with their problems, their questions, their concerns, their fears, their joys, their victories. I want my children to feel like they can come to me whenever. I DON'T want them to NOT come to me because they assume I will automatically say no.

I know that my children are small and I still have alot to learn. I also know that things are always completely different when you actually live them. It's like when people with no children try to tell people with children how to parent. So, I don't believe I have this all figured out and I know it is possible my opinion will be different when I actually have teenagers in my home.

But, what I do know for sure is that God has placed three families in my life that have raised teenagers or are raising them now and they have the kind of relationship with their children that I want to have with mine. So I am watching. I am asking questions. I am paying attention. And one thing I am noticing is how selfLESS these parents are. How they don't just automatically say no, but they take the time to listen, to discern, and mostly, to pray.

And because of their selflessness their kids can trust that when mom and dad say no it is in their best interest.

I want my children to be able to trust me like that. So for now I'm learning to say 'yes'. And I'm relaying the foundation of my relationship with my two big boys. And God, in His goodness, is letting me already reap some of the rewards of my efforts.

In hugs, kisses, and smiles.

Bridget

I want to quickly add that RC and I both have wonderful parents whom we learn alot from. However, because we were children we sometimes don't correctly remember how our parents handled things and that is why we need other families to learn from now that we are parents.