Makeover May

This month I am doing some makeovers. My mind, my body, my house. So, today I am organizing my desk and computer. While going through my email I found some really funny ones and since I only forward emails occasionally I thought to post some. Enjoy.


There I was on my way to Wal-Mart... getting into a fight was the farthest thing from my mind ... wasn't even on the horizon ... I was in a great mood ... and then ... I rear-ended a car. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car ... and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it ... he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says,'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I look down at him and said, 'Well, which one are you then?'............. and that's when the fight started.



A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.' Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?' The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'



Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it. The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up,stood beside the little boy,and said quietly:'Good morning, Alex.' 'Good morning, Pastor, what is this?' he asked the pastor. The pastor said, 'Well, son, it's a memorial plaque to all the young men and women who died in the Service.' Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked: 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'



There will be a meeting of the Board immediately after the service," announced the pastor. After the close of the service, the Church Board gathered at the back of the auditorium for the announced meeting. But there was a stranger in their midst -- a visitor who had never attended their church before.
"My friend," said the pastor, "Didn't you understand that this is a meeting of the Board?"
"Yes," said the visitor, "and after today's sermon, I suppose I'm just about as bored as anyone else who came to this meeting."



An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several days. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar:"He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"


Hope these made you laugh!